The Taste Of Something Sweet
by Tuttle
Summary: David and Anna attempt to cope with the death of Leora. Tad and Brooke reach into the past to try to guide them through their pain. NOW COMPLETE. Please R
1. Chapter One

"This isn't a good idea, Tad." Brooke English said as she stood in the doorway, her arms folded across her chest. "You, me, David... we're not exactly on the top of his list of favorite people." 

"I'm not doing this for Hayward," Tad said, fiddling with his tie. "I'm going for Anna." He paused. "You weren't at the hospital when it happened, Brooke. You didn't see ... I need to be there for her. To give her an extra shoulder, just in case David decides to go AWOL." 

Brooke approached Tad and fixed his tie. "Why do I feel like this is a mistake?" she asked, straightening the knot. "This is going to blow up in our faces, you know that?"

"You don't have to come you know." Tad said.

"I need to make sure that you don't do something that's going to land you in jail." 

"Oh, come on, Brooke. I'm not that bad." tad moved away from her and towards the front door. Brooke turned to face him. "You really don't want to come, do you?"

"It's a funeral, Tad," Brooke said. "Nobody ever wants to go."

"If this is too hard for you..."

"Because of Laura." Brooke said softly.

Tad approached her once again, gently taking hold of her arms. "Maybe you should stay. I can handle this." 

Brooke shook her head, pushing her hair back behind her ears. "I won't lose it. I promise." She forced a smile. "This is for Anna... and David." She paused. "And to make sure that you don't get beat to a pulp."

"Only as long as you're sure. I don't want you to..."

"Tad." Brooke said, quickly. "I'm OK. I'll be OK. Trust me, alright." She stepped back from him, fixing her hair once again. "We're going to be late," she said as she walked outside without looking back. "Are you coming?"

Anna Devane stepped out of the car parked in front of the funeral parlor. She stood silently on the sidewalk, fighting back the tears that were beginning to force their way out. She took a deep breath, holding it for a moment in attempt to calm herself. How much she just wanted to reach back for David's hand... if only he had decided to come.

Instead, Anna squeezed Leora's teddy bear tightly. The tears let loose and began to roll down her cheeks, but she quickly wiped them away. "OK. OK." she said. "You can do this. You need to do this." Anna slowly started towards the entrance, taking small equally spaced steps. She paused, looking back, hoping that perhaps David had changed his mind and that he was running down the block to catch up with her. But he wasn't. "He's not coming." Anna took another deep breath, closing her eyes and leaning her head back, skyward. "Damnit, David," she added softly. "If there was ever a time that I needed you here with me it's now." Anna looked down at the stuffed animal in her arms, stroking its fur. "They're waiting for us," She said as though the bear was listening. "We shouldn't keep them waiting."


	2. Chapter Two

Sitting in the front of the funeral parlor, a vacant seat to her right, where David should have sat, Anna still clung desperately to Leora's teddy bear. Her cheeks were soaked through with tears.

"Anna?" Anna turned her head to the side, looking up at Tad Martin.

She stood, embracing him. "I didn't think you would come. Is Joe..."

"No." Tad said. "No, he... couldn't get away. I came with Brooke, she's looking for a parking space. Anna I... I can't tell you how sorry I am."

Anna silently nodded. "You're here and I appreciate that very much. It's more than I can say about David."

"He didn't come?"

"He hasn't said more than two words to me since..." 

Tad reached out and took Anna's hands. "I'll be here as long as you need me. For anything."

"Thank you, Tad," Anna said, pulling him into an embrace.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" David Hayward yelled. He rushed to the front of the room, pulling Tad away from Anna. "You killed my daughter and now you're trying to take my wife!"

"David, please," Anna said.

"Don't make a scene, David," Tad said. "This isn't the time or the place."

"Like hell it's not," David said. "You killed my little girl and you still have the nerve to show up here!"

"I just came to pay my respects," Tad said.

"Get out of here! You're not welcome here!"

"I'm not looking for trouble, David."

"Then get the hell out of here!"

"Tad." Brooke walked into the room and approached him. She took hold of his arm. "Tad. Let's just go." She pulled gently at him. "Let's go, come on. Give him space. Come on." Tad reluctantly gave in, walking to the back of the room. "Tad." Brooke said, softly. "We shouldn't be here. This was a bad idea."

Tad shook Broke off of him, storming outside. Brooke held back for a moment before following after him.

"Tad!" Brooke called. "Tad! Just let it go. Let it go. You know this might happen if we came here today. He lost his daughter."

"You think I don't know what that's like?" Tad looked at her, realizing the impact of his statement. "Brooke, I'm sorry."

"We both know what it's like to lose children," Brooke said, hurt. "We both know what it feels like, Tad."

"I know," Tad said, putting his arms around her. Brooke rested her head against his chest. "My God, I know, Brooke. But... David's blind to that."

"David is just dealing. He's trying to cope."

"By blaming me for what happened. By blaming my father." Tad stepped away from Brooke.

"Where are you going?" she asked. "I'm parked down that way."

"I think I'll walk."

"Tad!" Brooke called after him. "Don't let Hayward get to you!"

Tad turned, walking backwards. "The man threatened me and my family. He's already gotten to me." 


	3. Chapter Three

The mood was solemn as Leora's funeral continued as planned. David's face was grief stricken. He didn't even notice as the funeral parlor emptied. He rose from his seat, approaching the tiny coffin. Standing over it, his head fell and he rested his hand on the top of it, shutting his eyes and taking a deep breath, attempting to hold back his tears.

Anna rose and stood beside David in a awkward silence. "Are you going to say anything?" Anna asked. David remained silent, staring off blankly. "David please. Say something. Please."

David shook his head. "Say what?" he asked softly, with a slight crack in his voice.

"Anything," Anna said. "Say anything. If you want to scream, David, scream. Cry... anything. Don't keep this bottled up. Everything you're feeling, everything you're thinking... David."

"You want to know what I'm thinking?" David choked. "I'm thinking about how Tad Martin has a hell of a nerve to show up here. I'm thinking how lucky he was that Brooke was here to convince him to leave. He's lucky I didn't get to him first." He paused. "It's because of him that our daughter is dead."

"Stop it, David." Anna said. "That is not true and you know it."

"Don't defend him, Anna! Don't you dare defend Tad. He's responsible for this. He and Joe are responsible for Leora's death and I'm not going to rest until they pay for what they did." David paused, his eyes moist, before turning and leaving the parlor.

"David!" Anna called after him. She brought her hand up to her forehead. "David!"

All he needed was to be alone, so there it was, at Memorial Park where David Hayward sat, perched on a bench. his mind was racing, filling with thoughts and memories of the past few months. He was furious, gazing off into nothingness. Even if a fighter jet had come roaring overhead, David wouldn't have noticed.

He had been reduced to nothing by his grief, by the trauma that Joe and Tad Martin had caused him. He could have saved Leora. He could have saved his daughter's life. If only he had been given the opportunity... but he hadn't been given that chance. they had kept him away.

David stood from his seat, walking forward slightly, running his hand over his face. The pain he was feeling was intense, far greater than the basic human emotions.

Taking a deep breath, David returned to his seat, watching life pass in front of him. Other families. Other parents with their children. He could have seen himself in their position. He could envision the warm spring days when he would have played with his daughter in the park... when he would have spent every minute of every day with her. He imagined how he would have met Leora at the front door everyday after school and how he would have helped her with her homework at night.

David ran the back of his hand under his eyes, wiping away the tears. He would never get to experience these things. He would never have the chance to watch his daughter grow up. 

Revenge hardly seemed enough. It hardly seemed like justice for what Tad and Joe Martin had done to him. For what they had done to his daughter.

"I'm going to make them pay for what they did to you, baby," David said softly. "I promise you that I'm going to make them see what they've done. I'll make them pay, baby. I promise you I'll make them pay." 


	4. Chapter Four

"I'm sure he's just off, driving around somewhere," Maggie said as she sat with Anna in the cabin. "He's probably on his way home right now." Anna folded her arms around her waist, shaking her head. "Well... then I'll stay here. I'll stay until he gets back."

Anna checked her watch. "I just hope to God that he doesn't do something that he's going to regret." she said as a rap was heard at the door.

Maggie curbed her words, remembering that they were talking about David... and he was capable of anything. Maggie made her way to the front door as Anna took a seat on the sofa. She swung the door inward and stepped back. 

"Tad." Maggie said.

"I didn't come to start trouble," Tad said. "I didn't see David's car in the front so..." Maggie moved aside , allowing Tad to enter. He walked into the cabin slightly, unbuttoning his suit jacket and putting his hands in his pockets. "So..." he continued. "I thought I would stop in and... see if you needed anything." Anna silently shook her head as Tad pursed his lips. "It hurts," Tad said, removing his hand from his pocket and running his fingers back through his hair. "I know, Anna.... I know it hurts."

A tear rolled down Anna's cheek. "I just want it to stop." Tad sat beside her, putting his arm around her shoulder. 

"It's alright."

"How do you do it, Tad? How do you just pick up and move on with...when you have such a huge piece of your life just... ripped away from you." 

"It's hard, Anna," Tad said. "It is hard. And I'm not going to lie to you, the pain never completely goes away. It gets easier to deal with... in time. But it never really goes away. Especially with a child."

"She didn't deserve this," Anna said. "She was so small... and... she had pulled through so much. We thought the worst was over, that it would all get better. that she would grow up... and be... such a happy little girl. We had such little time with her."

"You need to hold that close to your heart, Anna. You need to remember and cherish every moment you had with Leora. Those three months were a life time... Leora's lifetime and every second of it was remarkable." Tad paused. "that little girl face more in three months than most people experience their whole lives. But still... she was one of the happiest babies I've ever seen. She had spirit and personality and... she had that because you were such a wonderful parent to her. you lover her so much, you would have given your life to... to keep her here. You feel like... like you just want to crawl into a hole. to hell with the world and nothing else matters. I know that because I felt the same way when I lost Dixie and Kate. In time, Anna. In time you'll learn to move forward. But right now, I think, what you need is David. David needs you. You need eachother to get through this."

"How am I supposed to be there for him when I can't even find him." Anna said through her tears. "He doesn't want to be found."

"In his own time." Tad said. "David needs to come to grips with this on his own first. And until then... even after then, I'm only a phone call away if you need me. Anytime. You just call." Anna nodded quickly. "Do you want me to stay... until David gets back?" 

"Thank you, Tad, but..." Anna started. "I think I'll be alright. I have Maggie here."

"OK." Tad stood, leaning down and giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Anytime, OK?"

Anna smiled as Tad headed for the door. "Tad," she called after him. He turned. "Thank you." 


	5. Chapter Five

David didn't even look at his watch. Frankly, he didn't care what time it was. Pain and anger burned in his eyes. All he could think about was revenge. The thought was so sweet that he could practically taste it as he stood outside PVH.

David turned towards the doors and began to approach the entrance, pushing his way inside, brushing passed Brooke English.

Brooke's eyes widened at the sight of David. She turned, following after him, fearing the worst. David headed to the elevator and boarded almost brazenly, not caring who saw him. Brooke stayed out of his sight until the last possible second when she pushed herself onto the elevator after him. They were alone together as the elevator began to ascend. Cautiously, but almost without thought, Brooke reached out, pressing the stop button and facing her back to the panel, looking at David.

"What do you think you're doing?" David said.

Brooke attempted to remain calm. She had no idea what David had planned. "You need to think this through, David," she said.

"You need to get the hell out of my way, Brooke."

Brooke stood her ground, shaking her head. "This is not going to make your life easier. Taking your anger out on Joe Martin isn't going to make this go away."

"Move out of the way, Brooke."

"Listen to me," she said. "Listen to me, David. You need to look at the bigger picture here. Revenge is not going to solve this."

"Not revenge. Justice. Tad and Joe killed my little girl. The one thing that was perfect in my life they took away from me. Nothing I do will ever compare to what they've done to me."

"Joe did everything he could to help Leora. And Tad... Tad was only trying to help you, David."

David laughed. "Help me." he said. "Tad was trying to help me. By keeping me out of the OR? By keeping me from saving my daughter's life? That was his sick revenge for what happened between me and Dixie."

"That's not true, David. You know that's not true."

"There is nothing you can say that will convince me of that. Now start the elevator."

Brooke shook her head again. "You're dangerous, David. You're a danger to the staff and you're a danger to yourself."

"If I'm so dangerous then why are you still standing her with me?"

"I'm not afraid of you. I'm not going to let you hurt anybody."

"I'll go through you if I have to, Brooke."

"Go ahead, I'm not moving." David stepped back. "Can't you see that I just want to help you?"

"I don't need your help."

"I know what you're going through. I know exactly how you're feeling." Brooke paused. "I had... a little girl. Laura. She was an angel. A precious little angel. She was four. Just four years old when she was playing outside... and she got hit by a drunk driver." Brooke paused, pursing her lips. "She was there one minute, happy, playful... and then she was gone. My world fell apart, David. My marriage crumbled, I felt... just as helpless, as hopeless as you do right now." She paused again. "Taking revenge isn't going to make this better. It's not going to bring Leora back to you. Just like it wouldn't have brought Laura back to me. Can't you see that?"

David gazed at her, his face drawn, pain twisting his emotions. His eyes were filled with so much more than sorrow.

"Please David. Think of Anna. This is tearing her apart. She needs you. She is feeling exactly what you're feeling. Go be with her, David. That's where you need to be, not here. You don't need to exact any type of revenge, you need to be with Anna. You need to grieve... with her. Reconsider this. Please." 

Note: For this part, think de-SORAS-ized Laura Cudahy


	6. Conclusion

The cabin was like an empty shell and Anna just seemed to rattle around inside. She had sent Maggie home, no use for both of them to sit there helplessly, and now all she could do was wait. She didn't think at all that David would return. She worried that he would act out in a blind rage. But right now, Anna could do nothing to stop him. She was emotionally drained. She worried what this pain was doing to him. She couldn't even imagine it.

The wind outside started to pick up and Anna heard it begin to rattle the shutters. It was going to rain. She could almost smell it. There was a chill about the air the crept it's way into her bones and lingered there.

As Anna paced the room, she folded her arms tightly around her waist as if she were protecting herself from something. Technically, she was. She was shielding herself from pain, from sorrow and anguish, The emotions that she didn't want to have to bear to feel. Not alone at least.

She made her way over to the window and gazed out. The sky was dark and ominous. thick clouds threatened to break open at any moment. And why not, she thought. The day had been anything but a ray of sunshine. Why would it be any different now?

Anna turned once again, this time returning back to a wooden rocking chair, grasping a blanket which was draped over the arm. She wrapped it tightly around herself. the soft cotton enveloping her body. She rested her head back, easing her eyes shut as a barrier from the pain she was feeling. Complete and utter helplessness; a feeling that Anna had never expected to feel.

As she gently rocked back and forth, she began to lose herself in the soft whistling of the wind, which lulled her into a sort of semi-slumber, only to be jolted awake by the rattling of a key in the cabin door. Anna sat erect, resting her hands on the chair's arms as the door swung inward. She just sat there, her eyes fixed on the door as David entered. 

David remained motionless looking at Anna. She returned his gaze, both of them desperately wanting to speak, but neither knowing what to say. David lifted his hand, running it back through his hair, before resting it on the back of his neck. He took a few small steps closer to the rocking chair, his eyes still fixed on Anna as he came to a stop.

"Anna," David finally said, rubbing just above his eyes with his thumb and index finger.

"Where were you, David?" Anna said softly.

David remained silent for a moment. "Clearing my head."

"At the hospital no doubt."

David nodded slowly. "I did go to the hospital. Yes."

"Don't tell me, David, alright. I don't want to know what you've done..."

"Anna," David crouched down in front of her, taking her hands. "Anna." he shook his head. "I didn't do anything." Tears began to stream down Anna's cheeks. "I swear to you, baby. I didn't do anything."

Anna sniffled, removing one of her hands from David's to wipe her eyes. "Don't lie to me, David."

"I'm not, Anna. I went to the hospital. I did. And I was going to see Joe Martin... but I didn't."

"Well what changed your mind?"

"Let's just say I was cornered into realizing that... no matter how sweet revenge would have been..." David fought back his tears, his eyes becoming red. "Our little girl is still gone. And nothing is going to bring Leora back to us."

Sorrow continued to fill Anna's eyes as she leaned forward, wrapping her arms around David's neck. She could feel his tears begin to fall, soaking through the fabric of her sweater. Anna lifted her hand, resting it on the back of David's head, allowing his hair to settle between her fingers.

"She was so small," David said. "And perfect... and she didn't hurt a soul. The best part of me... I should have been able to save her."

Anna pulled back. "David..." she said, shaking her head.

"It wasn't Joe... or Tad. It wasn't their fault. It was mine."

"Stop," Anna begged. "David. You did everything you could for her."

"It wasn't enough!" David yelled, jumping to his feet. He brought his hands up to his face. She was my little girl... and I couldn't do anything for her."

"She was sick," Anna said, standing. "We knew that her heart was weak. And God, David, I would have given anything in this world to keep her here. But we did everything we could for her. We loved her... so much and I think... Leora knew that. I know that she knew that." Anna slowly approached David. She reached up, gently cradling his cheek. "You couldn't possibly have been any better a father. You were the perfect father."

Anna's eyes began to water and the tears streamed down her cheeks. David pulled her into a tight embrace. Anna rested her head against his chest and her hands moved slowly up and down his back.

"Why am I so afraid that if I let go, you're going to disappear?" she said.

"I'm not going anywhere, baby," David said. "I need you, Anna. There's no way that I can get through this without you."

Anna wiped her eyes. "I am the furthest thing from a rock right now." she said.

"Well that makes two of us," he replied. "I'm not going to let you go through this alone." David paused. "I can't go through this alone." Anna's tears were flowing even more freely now. "I know... I've had my moments when you just wanted nothing to do with me. And we drifted apart. And Leora... she brought us back together, Anna. Lately, I've been at my wits end over this whole thing and I've said... and done some things that I probably shouldn't have. I'd take them all back if I could. Because I've lost so much this past year, Anna. I can't lose you now too."

"You're not going to lose me," Anna said. "We'll get through this together, David." She paused. "It's not going to be easy. And it's going to take a long while, but... I think if we start out taking tiny steps... we'll make it. We will." Anna put her arms around David, her head against his chest. David rested his chin on top of her head.

Outside, the sky was still threatening, but through the dark clouds came a single ray of sunshine which made it's way in the cabin window. A ray of hope, more of which were soon to follow.


End file.
